Rulebook of Life
by Pandora's Curiosity
Summary: WARNING: loss of keys may result in new friends, best friends and boy friends. Kise/OC
1. Rule 1

**Rule one: Do not attack random boys with knives**

I rummaged through my bag; my keys had to be somewhere dammit. The door was locked and the loud blaring of music could be heard from inside, a tell-tale sign that Yuki-nii was in the shower. And that boy showered like it was his god given duty.

Eugh, I sighed, of course I left my keys back at Tsuyoshin. I picked up my bag and headed around the side of the house, throwing my bag over the fence then following suit.

I landed with a light thud and walked over to the living room window, lifted away the broken flyscreen, that no one had bothered to replace in the three years I was gone, carefully and climbed through, awkwardly pulling my bag through as well.

"BAKA" I shouted "I'm home!"

I turned swiftly and my face collided with a fucking wall, albeit a soft one, that I distinctly remember not being there.

I opened my eyes, rubbing my nose "what the fu-"my eyes landed on a perfectly (bare) chiselled chest, that was most certainly a wall, and most definitely belonged to one of god's angels.

"How did you find me?" he asked, his golden eyes studying me blatantly

"Who are you?" I countered "Better yet, what the fuck are you doing in me house!"

How did I find him? Who did this guy think he was, witness protection?

Oh god.

We're being robbed. By a real life robber. That looks like he walked out of the photo shoot for 'Japan's Next Top Mode'. He probably came through Yuki-nii's bedroom window, that dumb ass always left it open.

Fuck.

What the fuck do I do? Do I run? Do I jump back through the window? Do I scream for help?

Rather than doing any of these totally logical options, that would grant my safety, I punched him in the face.

Right on his perfectly formed cheek.

Such a crime.

He staggered back, the force knocking his centre of gravity, and I ran straight into the kitchen, grabbed a knife and made it for the back door.

Before I got three steps, a large hand circled my wrist and tugged me back. I whirled around, holding the knife in front of my chest. I am not going down today bitch!

"Let. The. Fuck. Go. Of. My. Arm" I forced out between gritted teeth. "I will cut you."

"A lady shouldn't cuss" he said, a bright smile plastered over his face. " And please put the knife down, I'm not going to rape you"

He lies, I can see it in his eyes, that smile is as fake as my old gym teachers breasts. I'm going to be raped. Raped, killed and my body will be left in this empty house after this psychopath finishes robbing it.

Not on my watch.

I swept my leg under his and shook my hand from his grip and he fell. I pounced, landing on his torso as my legs straddled his hips and held the knife in front of his face.

I took many self-defence classes, one of Yuki-nii's requirements for me if I were to go to Tsuyoshin.

The patter of footsteps entered my ears, followed by obnoxious singing. I looked up to see Nii-san walk into the room, his mouth dropping open at the sight of me. "BAKA" I shouted "don't just stand there, call the police, I caught this robber in the living room!"

"Mizuki what are you doing?!"

"Holding this psychopath down" I said, glancing back at the blonde offender below me, he looked somewhat threatened as well as oddly amused.

"The only psychopath here is you, Mizu!" Yukio shouted. The fuck? Bitch, I just saved your fucking life. He turned to the robber, "I'm sorry Kise".

"Don't worry senpai" the culprit said sheepishly "lots of fans tackle me, none try to stab me though."

I stared at 'Kise'. Fan? Senpai? "What?"

"Mizu this is Kise, he plays for my team" Yuki-nii sighed, rubbing his head, in what could only be described as annoyance. "Get off him"

Are you fucking kidding me? I threw the knife into the wall and rolled off him, well at least he isn't a robber/ killer/ all-round wack job.

"Put a shirt on" I huffed out, standing up and pulling the knife from the wall. Watching as Yuki-nii kicked 'Kise' in the stomach.

"Waahhh, Kasamatsu-senpai" he whimpered, standing himself up "what was that for?"

"Wear a shirt around my sister Kise" Yuki said walking over to me.

"You know I've seen boys shirtless before" I quipped looking up at him.

"Your back early" Yuki-nii said, wrapping his arms around me and lifting me into a tight hug, my legs slung around his waist as my arms gripped the back of his neck, as he spun me around – just like when we were younger.

"Surprise" I laughed " came back early, so I get to spend almost the whole year at Kaijo, plus, high school had barely started and I had already covered everything back at Tsuyoshin, so it was nothing"

Soyun high was an average school, but I had to go there for a while, as it was the only high school near Tsuyoshin middle.

"Care to tell me how I came to find you aiming a knife at my small forward?"

I hopped down from Yuki-nii and turned to the kitchen, "I'll explain everything over some tea, want some Ki-"

"Kise," the blonde filled in " and sure"

Already knowing Yukio couldn't turn down the offer of my special tea, I walked to the pot and waited for it to boil. I may not be very lady like, but I sure as hell knew my way around the kitchen.

After I prepared the tea, we sat in the living room, and I explained the story to Yuki-nii, with the occasional input of Kise.

"How have your studies been?" Yuki-nii asked, ever interested in my life away from him.

Topped all my classes in Tsuyoshin and was first in the grade in Soyun"

"Tsuyoshin?" Kise said "isn't that the top academic middle school in the country?"

"The very same" I answered " why? You know it?"

"My parents wanted me to go there, but obviously I didn't make the cut" he laughed " more of a sports person myself."

Obviously if he played in Yuki-nii's team. "Neh, Nii-san, where's kaa-san and tou-san?"

"On a business trip" was his response. I couldn't help but feel a small twang in my chest, I knew arriving unannounced would propose problems, but I always expected they'd be back for my return. Then again these were my parents. Not some happy family that shits butterflies and rainbows on TV.

"And I 'spose he's here for the evening" I glanced out to the deep night sky, gesturing to Kise.

"yeah, also, your room isn't ready, it's still a study, we were planning on moving it back just before you were scheduled to return, but alas, here you are, and there is no room. So you'll have the lounge room tonight"

"Does that mean she's bunking with me?" Kise asked, his voice bordering on childlike.

I rolled my eyes and look at Yuki, his face paled, "No, we all sleep together, I will be here to make sure you're alright.

Well, that could have been phrased better. And of course he didn't even trust his own friends around me, like always, I remember we had a neighbour that wanted to 'marry' me when we were five. Yukio interrupted the ceremony, which was a beautiful little gathering in my back yard, and beat up the kid. Needless to say, they moved pretty quickly after that. But none the less, we got up and gathered everything for the night to make it comfortable, shoving the couches together to make one giant bed, as Kise insisted we make a fort.

I lied down, staring up at the clock, 1:35 it read, and I was too tired to even change my jeans, so I pulled the covers up and rolled over, looking at Yuki-nii as he lay, snoring, between me and Kise.

Well this is definitely not how I expected my first day back to play out.

* * *

I turned over once more, shoving a hand through my ruffled hair. I was three fucking thirty in the morning and I had probably slept a total of 10 minutes.

I needed something to do, anything really, I just needed something to help me fall asleep before the sun rose.

And a smoke seemed to be the perfect something.

I climbed over the back of the couch and made my way to my parent's room, my supply had run dry the day before yesterday and tou-san always had spares.

I opened the draw he usually hid them in, and, of course, there they were. This man would die with a cigarette in his mouth.

I pulled out three from the pack for later, grabbed one for now and went out the back.

I lit the death stick and inhaled deeply, the thick smoke swirling through my lungs.

"That'll kill you Mizu"

I blew a smoke ring and puffed lightly, making more smoke dart through the centre.

"Someday"

"Why do you still smoke? I thought you gave up." Yuki-nii said, as he pulled the cigarette from my mouth, took a small puff himself, then discarded it onto the, stamping it out.

"To relive stress"

I could tell he knew I was lying, that stupid baka isn't a total dumb ass when it comes to two things, basketball and me. But alas he dropped the subject.

"You actually miss them, don't you?"

Ah, the parents, the ones that weren't here to welcome their child home after being away for three years.

"More than I'd like to admit."

I scanned across the yard, my eyes falling onto the sturdy, yet worn, basketball hoop on the edge of some concrete. I remember years of playing with that hoop, using it to refine my shooting abilities, with the help of Yuki-nii of course.

"Fancy a quick game, Baka?" I called out, turning to see Yukio already holding a ball with a small smirk on his face.

"Try not to lose, too bad sis"

"Che, just don't sulk when I beat your stupid ass"

I grabbed the ball from his hand and dribbled it over to our little court, waiting for Yuki-nii to get into position. I closed my eyes, fake left crossover, no, he'll see through that- a double fake and drive, simple layup before he catches me.

My eyes snapped open and I moved, exactly to plan, Yuki-nii saw through the first fake, but failed to see the second, then I lifted the ball to the backboard.

I turned to him, hearing the ball fall to the ground behind me and smirked "You're getting too predictable, Nii-san"

I prepared myself for his move as we checked, he'll try something simple. Maybe.

He dribbled the ball quickly, small bounces close to the floor and spun past me, as I went to block his shot, the ball sailed easily through the hoop and he sent my smirk back.

"Don't get too ahead of yourself"

We played for hours, using extravagant plays to get points and impossible defence to stop the other from scoring. I dribbled the ball, about to make my 24th easy three for the night, when the sun's rays hit my eyes.

Well, so much for getting some sleep.


	2. Rule 2

**Rule 2: Sometimes, patience is key**

By the time Yuki-Nii and I got to sleep, it was around 6am, and I know for a fact that disturbing my slumber was number one on a list of things not to do. Don't get me wrong, I can function greatly with minimal hours (if any) of sleep, but once I get to sleep, the only thing that has the power to draw me out of bed is the sturdiest alarm clock in the world, which can handle being flung across the room.

Keeping this in mind- It brings me to my current state of confusion as to why there is a hand nudging my shoulder, and who thinks that they can honestly withstand being put through a wall.

Groaning, I rolled over, swatting away the hand with as much force as I could muster from my tangled position. Not two seconds after I rolled over, did the nudging persist. And here I was thinking that smacking somebody's hand way was universally translated into 'don't fucking touch me'.

"Mizu" a voice sounded – one suspiciously like Yukio, odd, I thought that by now he would know not to try this shit. "Get up, me and Kise are hungry".

He and Kise are hungry? We have a fridge, a fridge with food. And such food only needs twenty seconds in the microwave to be edible. Do I look like a fucking maid?

"Piss off"

"That's no way to talk to your beloved brother" He said again, this time, prodding me in the back.

"Go away"

The prodding continued, "I" prod "am" prod "hungry" prod.

I turned swiftly and swung my hand; effectively pimp slapping Yukio in the face.

"Piss off" I growled out, opening my eyes slightly. All that prodding, no matter how much it warranted a pimp slap, still managed to wake me up quicker than the screams of terror of a thousand children. I feed off their suffering, it gives me the power of 1000 suns.

Sitting up, I glanced around; the sun was bright, but not strong enough to be midday. I located a clock on the wall that read 9:07. Groaning once again, I rolled off the couch, and stood up, cracking my back. "I'm not making breakfast"

"Why not?!" came Yuki-Nii's exasperated shout, still in the lounge room, nursing his swollen cheek. I am not to be fucked with.

"Cause I don't want to, you can just heat something up" Just because I can cook, doesn't mean I like to, the food I make is mine, therefore, I am the only one to eat it. But even still, I had my limits, and cooking at 9 in the morning was one of them.

"There's nothing there" Rolling my eyes, I walked over to the fridge and opened it; the gleaming white shelfs were, as Yukio said, bare. Great, that meant that we had to go shopping, one of the devil's own creations.

"Where is Kise?" I asked, planting myself on the kitchen bench. I highly doubt that he up and left at the ass crack of dawn.

"Bathroom, showering"

"Shotgun next" I called out, if I wasn't the next one to shower, god knows when Yukio would get out of there.

"There's no food- so I can't cook anything anyways. I say we go grab something for McDonalds before the breakfast menu is gone."

"I second that" Yuki-Nii said, flicking on the Xbox to presumably play street fighter. Which I happen to be a total boss at. Aint nobody play Juri better than me.

"Hey guys" came a voice from behind me. I turned and looked at Kise, his wide smile crinkling his eyes at the corners.

"Morning" I said, before brushing past him and into the bathroom. Showers always help me wake up fully.

* * *

"How are we getting there?" Kise asked. I walked over to the console in the entrance room and picked up a shining set of keys, smirking to Yuki-Nii.

"No" He said, immediately shaking his head, "no, no, no, no. NO! I will not be put through that again."

"Put through what?" Kise questioned again, his gaze shifting between Yuki-Nii and me. Smiling, I chucked the keys up and caught them again.

"Yuki-Nii seems to think my driving is 'traumatic' and 'scars him for life' "I said rolling my eyes. Its not that bad, I am a somewhat good driver. I learnt off Grand theft auto. "Anyways he gets embarrassed when I'm driving, something about the music 'being too loud' and people thinking we are 'thugs, ready to start a drive by shoot out'."

I actually had good music taste- you couldn't do better than classic American Rap.

"Come on, it's not that bad" I said, winking at Yukio as I walked out of the house, and got into the car. Now officially, I am underage- which means I don't have a license, however, I have stolen enough cars and shot enough prostitutes to know how this shit works.

I watched Yukio hesitantly get in the back seat (that he deemed safest if we were to crash, also, that if we were pulled over, he could always claim to have been kidnapped) and Kise jump into the front. I started the car, wound down all the windows, inserted my favourite Tupac CD and turned up the volume to full blast.

"Leggo"

I pulled out of the drive, and began off down the road. It was only about a 10 minute drive to McDonalds, which gave us 20 minutes to get there before the Breakfast menu closed. Stopping at the first set of traffic lights, I looked out the window to see a group of girls giggling and waving at Kise, one going as far to send him an air kiss.

Seriously though, who the fuck was this guy to get air kisses from teenage girls in miniskirts and hello fucking kitty T-shirts?! I set the car into gear and sped off, leaving the 12 year olds behind in the blink on an eye. I gave Kise a look, to which he just smiled sheepishly rubbing the back of his head.

Looking up, I spotted a big M and drifted (swerved violently, almost flinging Yuki-Nii from the car) into the entrance. I looked to the left, only to see car upon car banked up in the drive thru lane, there was no way I was waiting in that. I sighed, I always hated going through the actual building, you wait longer, more people, more room for them to crowd. I pulled into a spot in front of the building and cut the ignition, hopping out the car. I looked back; Yuki-Nii was glaring at me, whilst Kise still looked a bit rattled from my display of drift king-ness.

"Hurry up" I said, walking inside. The smell of fried food of all sorts assaulted my nose, making my mouth water slightly. When I was in the kitchen- anything could be fried. 'Oh, is that ice cream tasting a little lame? Let me fry that for you!' It could be done, frying ice cream, vegetables, chicken, anything.

I walked up to the counter and for once, the inside was not crowed, only one or two people waiting to get their order and some others already eating at the tables.

"Yup, can I get a large serving of hot cakes, a bacon and egg mcmuffin and a chocolate frappe?" I looked to Kise and Yuki-Nii as they recounted their orders as well.

"Alright, that will be 3500 yen, eat in or take away?" The pimply boy behind the counter asked.

"Take away" I replied, handing the boy the required money and moving to the side waiting for our order to arrive.

I glanced around the room, it seemed to be a silent day - an old man sitting at a table, reading his paper over a cup of coffee, a group of women gossiping over muffins and espressos, small children swinging from the play set outside, whilst their mothers called at them to watch where they were running.

"Ma'am" I turned the boy and grabbed the order, saying my thanks, and began the trek outside. Oh god, I could smell the food, I cant wait to get to eat this it will be heavenl-

I felt a rough shoulder collide with mine, sending me stumbling back.

"What the fuck?!" I looked up to see a man, dressed in black with a beanie stretched over his face, wielding a…pocketknife? The fuck was going on? This guy had to be joking. There is no way he was serious, I laughed, heads snapping in my direction, he was bluffing, right?

"I'm sorry, I didn't realise I had walked onto the set of Law and Order" I bit out, earning a disapproving look from Yuki-Nii.

"Shut up girl!" the masked figure shouted, "I want all of you on the ground! NOW!" A chorus of gasps and shrieks echoed throughout the restaurant, the gossiping ladies dropping to ground, the old man folded his news paper, his face clearly stating 'I've been through enough of this shit in my lifetime' and the mothers of the children outside scattered to run away, hopefully to get help. I slid my hand down my back pocket; only find it void of my phone. God dammit, the one time it was completely necessary to have my phone and it was nowhere to be seen.

"Look bud, I came here for some breakfast, I got my breakfast, now I'd like to leave…" I said, watching the man carefully.

"Yeah and I want cash! Get the fuck on the ground, and you," he said pointing his gun at pimple boy "empty the registers"

I slowly dropped to the ground, leaning against a wall as Kise and Yuki-Nii crawled over to me. All I fucking wanted to do was get some food. Was that too much to ask? Had I angered the gods? Cause fate seemed to be playing this whole 'Fuck you Mizuki' game rather well. I pulled open the bag whilst the criminal raided the tills, silently lifting my Mcmuffin to my mouth and taking a bite. God dammit, this was my food and I was fucking hungry, thief be fucking damned.

Whi ohh whii ohh whii ohh

I directed my gaze outside to the source of the siren, a police car parked in front of the building as two men scrambled out, jogging over to us. The thief jumped, running over to the door and forcing it to lock manually before the police could enter. He looked panicked, as he ran his hands over his face. "Shit, shit, SHIT!"

"Well off course the police came" I sighed, I may have been pushing it- sassing a man with a knife, but he looked too panicked to do anything, the way he jumped at any sound, his rigid movements, this seemed to be his first robbery, it was unplanned, and he was worried over the outcome, that and he was holding the knife wrong- I might not be special forces, but I'm almost 100% sure a ten year old could disarm him. "In what world did you picture a robbery without the police showing up?"

He glared at me, raising a shaky hand that held the knife to my face. At this action, said police began banging on the door, shouting at the culprit to come quietly.

"Hostages!" he shouted, "You're all hostages! One wrong move and you'll be done for! And you, don't eat you damn sandwich!"

Yuki-Nii elbowed my in the stomach, growling at me like an animal. I shit you not, he growled like a full on lion. And that elbow hurt, I clutched my stomach that shit was going to bruise…

I glanced outside, the policemen were on their walkie talkies, realising this had escalated into a hostage situation, hopefully calling for help. The thief paced around, nudging the women into a line, kicking their phones across the room.

Who starts a hostage situation over a robbery at McDonalds? All he had to do was run out the back door, or easier still, hand himself and get a three months sentence to community service. But alas, this man's panic was overriding his common sense.

Observations were, obviously, what I do. Why talk when you can listen and figure out the answers to questions never asked? Psychology was an easy enough subject, when you knew how to read people, and reading people came from inference. The way a subject acts in a certain situation, their movements, their expressions- it all connected.

The police were bickering on the other side of the glass, with the new officers that had arrived on the scene. They couldn't very well just shoot into the window and ransack the place, that would agitate the criminal even more, possibly causing him to flip out and bust some super saiyan shit on our asses.

The outcome of their discussion would only end in one way, they would negotiate with the thief and coax him to release us 'hostages' and come quietly. And from the looks of this guy, he knew that giving up now would be worse before it got better.

* * *

Three Hours. For three fucking hours, I had been sitting here.

One other thing that needed to be known about me, was that fact that I was in possession of a baby bladder, meaning I needed to piss every few hours, and it feels like I haven't been to the bathroom in 7 days (which can be translated into 5 hours). And this leads me to my now predicament of needing to pee, badly.

"Yuki-Nii" I whispered, "I need to pee"

He glared at me "Hold it"

I have been holding it for 5 hours, fagnut, that is 2 hours over my limit and I'm pretty sure this is a personal best.

"I need to go to the bathroom" I hissed, returning his glare, don't look at me like that, bitch.

"And I said hold it"

I rolled my eyes, why do I even need to ask him to use the bathroom? My bladder movements were my own and I am a grown ass woman. By God, if that didn't grant me the ability to piss whenever I wanted, what the fuck would?

I began to rise, only to have Yuki-Nii tug me down harshly. "If you have to go, we will go together, I don't want you to die because you're tiny ass bladder couldn't wait for 20 minutes"

I groaned, "I need to use the bathroom" I announced, staring at the criminal.

He sent me a look through, obviously confused whether or not to allow me to go to the rest room. He couldn't escort me and leave everybody else, nor could he let me go alone. But this guy didn't seem the type to thing logically in a stressful situation.

"No" he bit out, "Stay there"

I sighed, couldn't leave, couldn't eat, couldn't even pee, what the fuck sort of morning was this.

I leaned over to Kise, "I need to pee"

He sent me a quizzical look, raising an eyebrow slightly.

"Look bud, I need to pee, Yuki-Nii wont let me and neither will Mr 'I run this shit' over there, so, I need somebody to watch my back when I go to the toilet"

Kise opened his mouth, closed it, and then opened it once more. "Waahh, what if we get hurt?"

"Come on, are you really gonna make me piss myself?" I questioned, sending him back his raised eyebrow.

"You only need me to watch?" he asked.

"Yup, thanks Kise" I smiled "just tell me when the coast is clear."

He nodded. "You know, just calling me Kise could be considered rude"

"Bite me, pretty boy" I smirked positioning myself out of Yuki-Nii's line of sight as he stared intently at the police outside, his brow creased.

"Wahh- I don't like you anymore" he whined, nodding once more, signalling I was free to move.

"I'll get over it"

I was off, tumbling past Kise and ran to the bathroom. I silently opened the door and proceed to roll inside. Unnecessary? Yes, totally badass? Also yes. I walked over to the cubicle and emptied my tiny bladder, finishing up, I walked over to the door- opening it by a crack and scouting the area in front of me. The robber was preoccupied with one of the gossip women who had began to cry, He was close to where I wanted to get to, but his back was turned.

I slipped out and jogged back my way back to my spot on the wall, smiling at my total badassery, I took a final bound, mere meters away from my seat, preparing for a dramatic finish, this was gonna be-

CRASH!

I fell forwards, my feet tangling together, colliding with the criminal, and taking him down with my unceremonious fall. I let out a shriek as I landed with a thud on top of the man. The room fell silent; I could feel the stares of the others inside burning a hole in my back.

Oh god.

I felt my face heat up. Only me, I was the only person fucking stupid enough to crash tackle a hostage-taker.

"I – Uh" Before I could finish my ever articulate sentence, a multitude of happenings took place. The policemen who were stationed outside, shot through the glass and burst through the door, shouting out commands and questions. Paramedics joined the scene, looking to see if anyone was injured, and I was pulled from on top of the criminal.

My eyes still locked on the man I had just taken down, that was currently swarmed with officers holding him to the ground and stripping him of his knife. I could have died, that piece of cutlery could have stabbed me in the mother fucking stomach!

Would it be considered suicide or murder if I had died? You know, considering I fell onto him and all…

I felt a hand on my shoulder, turning I was engulfed in a hug, my face crushed against a chest. I pulled back, Yuki-Nii's eyes glaring into my own.

"Sorry" I mumbled. "But I did save your ass"

"You are an idiot" He said, shoving me lightly.

"Wahh- Kasamatsu-san!" Kise wailed from beside me "That was so brave! How did you do that?"

"Funny" I laughed, turning to Kise, but rather than his usual smile, he looked confused? Did he really think that I did that on purpose?

"Are you alright Miss?" I looked at the officer who had spoken. "That was an amazing feat of courage, putting yourself in danger to save your fellow hostages. As the protectors of this city, I must not condone taking the law into your own hands, but you will be commended for your bravery"

"Look sir, I didn't-"

"I'll have one of the supporting officers collect your details after we have finished up here, you're a hero, Miss" He smiled, grabbing my hand and shaking it strongly. So strongly that I'm pretty sure my hand will never be the same.

'Mizuki Kasamatsu; Hero'

It had a ring to it.


	3. Rule 3

**Rule 3: ALWAYS shut the windows**

The greatest thing about joining a school late, was that I wasn't required to attend until a certain date. So I have literally been chilling at home for the entire week, waiting to start next Monday. Though this may sound the dream at first, this was entirely shattered after I realised that the only thing shown on TV during the day are horrible American soap operas, leaving me to listen to the problems of Sandra Kennedy's troubles with her love affair with married Jason Liner.

Due to my great disinterest in these sorts of things, I have since been splitting my time between playing ball on the little half court out back and studying, that realistically, didn't need to do, but you can never be too prepared for tests (even if they wont happen for another term of school). It was roughly 3 pm and although Yuki-Nii would usually be home at this time, he has a study group to go to -excuse to see his 'girlfriend' (read: girl he has been pinning on for 7 months) and I would know, she was all he used to talk about during our calls.

But when Yuki-Nii, the human form of slightly above average grades, told me he wanted to study – for English (the one subject he is actually top of his class in) I was surprised. So it's just me and Sandra for the next hour. Just as I was about to pick up the remote, a knock sounded against the front door. Rolling over the edge of the couch, into a 10/10 boss crouch, I got up and walked to the door, tugging it open to reveal a blonde mop of hair and a bright smile.

"Yo" I said, walking back to the couch, sure that Kise would follow without hesitation. He had been showing up a lot at home, out of the blue. By a lot I mean everyday after school, unannounced. The first time I had thought he needed something from Yuki-Nii, but the more he showed up, realisation hit that he was here because 'he wanted to visit' and very often without a shirt on as it is 'restricting', but really because he wants to show off the ballin' 6 pack he has carved into his torso. In fact one would think he lived here, he was very comfortable around the place and knew the place better than I did, navigating it without trouble.

Slumping back onto the couch, I watched lazily as he sat on the floor, leaning his back on the space next to my dangling legs. "Why is it you are always here?" I questioned for the 100th time, only to have Kise smile and state "because it wouldn't be the same without me". With a role of my eyes, and a slight smile, I turned my attention back to the drama unfolding before my eyes as Jason confessed his love to Sandra.

"You know" I said "People could mistake you for a weird stalker, always coming around, they probably think you have a weird obsession with my family…"

"I'm sure they would just think that I'm a young, friendly, handsome man who is friends with the weird people that own this house"

In all honesty, although I would never admit it out loud, I actually slightly, maybe enjoyed the company Kise provided with his visits. I mean it wasn't like he was a douche or anything, in fact he was an alright guy- as I have found out over the past week and a half. And he was actually very good to talk to, mostly about basketball and the various animes that we both liked. As well as that- Kise was surprisingly sassy, and would often flip his blonde hair exaggeratedly and huff- I'm not quite sure whether this is being done jokingly or with full seriousness.

"Hey do you want something to eat?" I questioned, standing and making my way to the kitchen.

"Yeah- just make double whatever your having"

"Was going to anyway" I answered, pulling out the curry puffs and the deep fryer. Splashing the oil into the fryer as I waited for it to heat up, I leaned against the kitchen bench; blankly staring at the fryer to make sure it didn't over heat. I would not have another experience with an oil fire. Once in 5th grade I was home alone and wanted to cook some spring rolls, so I put on the oil, went to my room to get something and heard the blaring of the smoke alarm before I came rushing back out into the kitchen, to see the fryer on fire and burning the cupboards above it, in my panic I tried to use the removable tap from the sink to put out the fire, only to have the thing piss out a weaker flow that an steroid infused wang. My next bright idea was to try to put it out by smacking it with the broom. Yeah- that went great. So I had a broom and a fryer on fire, as a 10 year old that is a lot to handle. Anyways, long story short (leaving out al the running around the house I did with a burning broom) I put out the fire and never took my eyes off the fryer ever again.

Placing the curry puffs into the cooker, I waited until they floated to the top to scoop them up, calling for Kise to join me in the kitchen to eat. Placing a plate of puffs on the bench in front of me, I picked one up and blew on it to cool, before eating it swiftly.

"You know what, I always-" SMASH "what the fuck was that?" I asked, walking into the lounge room, Kise following behind me.

What met my eyes was the vase that my mother loved on the floor in pieces, and the culprit behind it was a fury little…thing? "What is _that_?" I asked again pointing to the thing in front of me, it had dirty fur, muddy paws and was foaming slightly at the mouth.

"That would be a raccoon" Kise said, a slight tone of sarcasm in his voice, moving closer to it and sticking out his hand "Hey little guy, whatchu doing down-'"

_GRRRRRR_

Kise jumped and retracted his hand as it bared its razor teeth with a little nip at the air previously occupied by Kise's limb. "Woah now… we just wanna help you little guy" The beast growled again, coming closer to us. It let out a screech and sped towards our feet, gnashing its teeth.

"OH HELL NAH" I shouted. Jumping behind Kise and running away, There's no way I'm going anywhere near that thing. Fuck that shit. Kise was hot on my heels as we ran behind the sofa, watching as it jumped onto the coffee table and scratched it with its demon claws. It tipped over tables and scratched up the flowers that had fallen from the vase. Moving away more as it lept onto the couch, tearing at the pillows, shaking them until the stuffing came out. We moved back into the kitchen slowly as it proceeded to tear magazines and tip over plants in the lounge room, growling the whole time. Its gaze (demon stare) shifted to us quickly and it ran at us. "FUCK" I shouted, backing up my profanity was a shrill scream- fuck was one of the neighbours being robbed? I saw Kise out of the corner of my eye, with his mouth still slightly open…

Before I could even comprehend what was going on, I heard the tear of fabric and felt a cool draft on my stomach before I was shoved into a small closet, Kise tumbling after me and shutting the door swiftly, leaving us in darkness.

I looked down, and put a hand to my stomach, only to feel my own skin rather than the rest of the sweater I had been wearing. What. The. Fuck.

"You ASSWIPE!" I shouted, recovering from our tumble into what is the kitchen closet. "You- you- you RIPPPED MY FAVOURITE SWEATER AND THREW IT TO SATAN'S PERSONAL HOUND!" That sweater was a work of art, that I saved a months worth or pay to get- you do NOT buy a fire engine red woollen sweater cheap.

"Would you rather it had your sweater or your neck?" he questioned

"I'd rather it had yours"

"And besides" he continued "it was probably drawn to the bright red anyway, so you can thank me for saving your life- you're welcome"

"No- now it has probably decided that it likes the taste of sweater and will be back for me soon to finish the job." I bit back in a huff, my eyes adjusting to the darkness of the closet, the only light coming from a slim gap under the door. The switch was outside and like hell I would risk my life to turn it on.

You've never experienced true fear until you have come face to face with a rabid raccoon.

"Oh and I got that sweater from the little boutique on 4th- future reference for when you go buy my replacement" I said. Hells yeah I wanted a new sweater; I looked fly as a falcon in that thing. Plus he was a model; he should be able to make it rain money.

A slight laugh echoed in the closet, signalling he heard my statement- but leaving whether or not he took it on board vague. But I had legitimately thought my death was imminent when I saw that thing. It looked rabid enough to send an entire city into quarantine. It would literally strike fear into the hearts of not only small children, but full-grown men. Speaking of which…

"Just to let you know" I began "you scream like a girl"

This caused his head to spin so fast, it almost snapped his neck. Legitimately, this was some exorcism shit up in here. "I do not!" he defended "My voice is manly, it is the epitome of strong, it is the lovechild of Morgan Freeman and Samuel L. Jackson! It does not produce such sounds!"

"You totally sounded like a little girl!" Admittedly, his voice wasn't all that girly, but he screamed like a fan girl when he saw the beast.

"You can be mean sometimes" he whined, but I could here the slight laughter in his tone. It really was a shame about my sweater though, half of it was missing from the front, showing my bare stomach (undershirts were for pussies), which wasn't doing much now, so with a sigh, I grabbed the edge and lifted it up-

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING" His voice sounded. I sent him a quizzical look in the darkness. I had my crop top on, covering all the bits and pieces needed to preserve innocence.

"What do you mean?"

"Why are you taking off your shirt?" he huffed "I'm not sure I'm ready for this step in our relationship…"

- What relationship? "But you don't mind right? I mean- don't you- you know- bat for the other team, your door swings the other way, aren't you more of a catcher than a pitc-"

"I UNDERSTAND YOUR REFERENCES YOU STRIPPER! AND NO I AM NOT GAY- RING RING, WHO'S THERE? IT'S MISINTERPRETATION!"

With that sass, I'd get it checked out. "You're shitting me right? I mean really?" I stated in disbelief "look at how you are dressed, you model AND you have an ear piercing, I mean come on- you totally give off that whole um, " What was the word? Faggy "flamboyant… vibe"

"You- I- this, wahh" he stammered out "You are incorrect, very, VERY incorrect." With a shaky laugh, I pulled my scrap of material back over my head and listened to the sounds of Kise muttering about his upmost manliness. This combined with the faint scratching from the monster that remained outside, waiting for its prime moment to rip me apart and devour me, like it did my sweater. I did not fancy being killed at the hands of the beast; so obviously, the best option was to stay here. In this ridiculously boring closet.

"Hey Kasamatsu," his voice echoed "what are we gonna do?"

"Well I don't fancy being eaten alive- so I was just gonna wait in here until SWAT shows up and bombs the monster"

"Can we play a game?"

A game? Were we five, it's not like we could exactly play duck duck goose in here or tip, but I guess I had nothing better to do…"what game?"

" I don't know… 20 questions?" he stated, I could hear him ruffling his hair and stretching. 20 questions- sounds good. "Sure, shot gun not going first"

I was curious about Kise though, how can someone go from 0 to sass and back again in 0.24 seconds? He was a weird kid- I had heard that much from Yuki-Nii before I even met Kise, but then again Yukio always did attract the weird ones. But apart from the fact that I knew he model, was my age and held interest in basketball (apparently he is one of the 'generation of miracles'? I don't even understand what the hell that is… but anyways) and liked to watch the same sorts of anime as I did, people, including himself, haven't really told me much about him… but as I am a Sherlock Holmes thinking mofo', there were certain things I gathered from the hours I had spent with him. Like when he always sat with his lanky legs stretched out in front of him, he preferred orange juice to apple juice, he played with his earring when he was bored and he greatly enjoyed wearing designer brands.

I am not a stalker, as Yuki-Nii said when I shared this with him, I just notice things- very important skill. Everybody does it- I'm just better at it.

"Okay, um, favourite animal?" oh great question, this guy knows where its at- he knows how to get the dirt on people. Should be a professional interviewer. "Falcon- totally boss animals" He nodded along, obviously very impressed with my choice and agreeing whole-heartedly.

"Weird fact about you?" I asked, I mean this boy wasn't normal- I bet he could write a whole novel on things he could do that were odd. "Well, I have big feet- like size 13 feet. And you know what they say about guys with big feet…" I laughed slightly and bumped his shoulder with my own. He was seated next to me with his legs bent in all backwards positions (bent at the knees) to fit them into the closet, whilst I had my feet placed on the door in front of us, leaning against the shelves that lined the closet.

"Worst habit?"

"Smoking" I answered almost instantaneously, that was an obvious answer.

"You smoke?" he asked.

"Yup, have been for a while."

"So f you smoke, doesn't that take an affect on your basketball?" his voice came from the darkness, a sigh escaped my lips- this game was turning into a round of question Mizuki, but with nothing else to do… this close was a horrible place to run (get shoved) into, and with both of us unwilling to venture outside, this were we were going to die.

"Yup" I answered "I've been trying to quit- did for a while. I'm actually not that dependant, just one or two every week now, but my stamina is pretty low, I just cant handle all the moving around constantly, leaves me too out of breath. I just can't do it for long periods of time"

"That must be a let down for your boyfriend-"

What escaped my mouth was, I am 90% sure, half a gasp and laugh mixed together- although it probably sounded like a snort, which I am 100% sure I do NOT do. "You nasty". I could almost hear the smirk he was wearing, pulling one onto my own lips as well.

But what I didn't hear was the faint scratching that had plagued my ears for the past 27 minutes…"I think it's gone" I whispered, "I think it's safe…" I glanced over at Kise, in the dark it was hard to tell (extremely), but he seemed apprehensive- which was understandable, we have no idea what perils awaited us outside our fortress. Animals- so not my thing.

"What do you think we should do?" I inquired

"I guess we should go check…"

"But what if it is still there – what will we do?" I said. This was a life or death situation and I do not want to be Skippy out there's next meal. Kise shrugged from next to me, it would have to be around the time Yuki-Nii got home from his little study group.

If we were to venture outside, we would need protection, and although I am not above using Kise as a human shield, there had to be something useful in here. Gazing around the closet, I could only make out vague shaped of mostly just empty drink bottles and baking trays and- "Shields! We can use these as shields!" I exclaimed, sliding one over to Kise. I picked up a strainer and placed it over my head-helmet reppin'- and a bowl over his. I scrounged around the boxed that were inside, pulling out various oven mitts and tea rags, putting them on and tying a rag around my face, leaving only my eyes visible.

Kise, catching on, started to search as well, creating his own suit of armour, until we were decked out, head to toe, in enough kitchen wear to withstand a Nokia to the head, let alone the raccoon spawn of the devil.

"Okay" I breathed out "we burst through the door in three, two, ONE" on cue, we barged through the door wielding spatulas and tongs. We let out a conjoined war cry as we caught sight of the beast- chasing it down the hall and into the lounge room, dodging the debris of our previous encounter. I swung my spatula at it, with full intentions of knocking the little shit out of the ballpark, I WOULD NOT BE BEATEN BY A RACCOON, just as it bounded out of the gate of hell (open window) through which it came. Kise ran quickly to the window and slammed it shut, turning to me with the biggest grin on his face.

"WE DID IT!" I shouted "WE SURVIVED"

Kise let out a barrel of laughter and cheered along with me. I stood on the couch and struck my Usain Bolt hero pose and let out a totally badass war cry, with Kise joining me enthusiastically.

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!" a voice shouted above our chants of 'we are the champions' my attention snapped towards the front door, to see Yuki-Nii standing there with all his books in hand and his jaw on the floor as he surveyed the battle ground (utterly destroyed lounge room).

"Wahh Kasamatsu-senpai…"

"We can TOTALLY explain…"

Near death experience number 783 in the life of Mizuki Kasamatsu- averted.


End file.
